Still With Me

It’s been a long 2 years, my friend. I wish you could have been physically with me through all that has happened recently but, I know that you were here in spirit helping guide me. I’m pretty sure you heard me screaming in my car “You can’t have her yet!” numerous times. As much as you love her too, she’s still here and doing well. I landed at a good place. I’m going to hopefully make a good decision with her soon and wish I could bounce things off of you but I will channel your knowledge and thoughts and hope I do the right thing.

Just wanted you to know that I know you are still with me.

Missing My Friend

Memories run through my mind like a relay race, but at warp speed. One memory turning into another, then another and another. Whether I’m at work, watching tv, spending time with a friend and even while driving, the thoughts and memories come flooding forward.

Tonight as I spent time with Erin, I thought of you shaking your head and laughing at one of my training techniques, yet I pressed on in my own way ending up with the same result you would have. The two of us had a good laugh about how I got there.

It hurts that you are not here, but I still feel you around and am cherishing that feeling.

I love and miss you, my friend…

Rude and Inconsiderate Parenting

Oh!  I bet I struck a nerve.  How dare I, a  non-parent, tell parents how to raise their kids!   The world is full of parents and of people who choose not to be and we all have to co-exist respectfully with each other.

Whatever happened to being considerate, polite, courteous, and thoughtful concerning parenting?  When did it become acceptable for parents to not teach children to be respectful of those around them?   When did politeness and respect die?  Is it laziness? There is no excuse for lazy parenting.   Working for a living isn’t an excuse, wanting to be a child’s friend isn’t an excuse.  There is no excuse at all in doing such an injustice to a child as to bring him or her up to be something that people are not going to respect or want to be around as they get older.  How is this helping them learn to cope with the world and deal with people as adults?  It’s not.

So, my message to parents is to PLEASE think twice about allowing anything as inconsiderate and rude as this to happen as it’s not all about you.  It’s about those around you as well.   It’s about raising children that others want to respect.  I’d like to be able to respect you and your children.

Social Cleansing

Those of you who know  me personally, know that I am constantly cleaning, cleaning physically as in getting rid of anything I can find in drawers, closets, cupboards, anything that  no longer has any use, doesn’t fit or I don’t even know what it is anyway (that  happens).  Heck, the cat is lucky she’s still here! Just kidding.  I literally wake up at night and wonder if there is something else that can be tossed or donated from a dresser drawer.  Thankfully that doesn’t happen a lot, but it would literally take 3 of us to move me someplace in probably less than an hour.  I don’t like clutter and am liking the minimalist lifestyle.

Consequently, I have been doing the same thing in my personal life. I am finding the need to revisit this type of cleansing yet again.  I had taken care of myself in this way years ago and it’s time once again.

Given what has transpired in all of our lives over the past couple of years, I have seen first hand what this has done to or brought out in people who I would otherwise have never known about.  We all have our beliefs, opinions and personal life agendas but what has been rearing its’ ugly head most from people I thought I knew and even those I don’t know (via FB following or friending)  is the blatant vile hatred and racism that has run amok.  It’s always been there, I know that, but it hasn’t been in our faces to this degree.  Social media has propelled it.  Propelled the anger, hatred and ignorance to the point of sheer ugliness.

I wasn’t brought up to embrace hatred and racism and to criticize without knowing facts.  I do my best to research that which I’m talking about, sometimes finding I needed to do more, but nevertheless at least I put the time and effort into learning about that which I’m speaking before spreading ignorant gossip and flat-out lies.

I’ve been called vile names and told to go to “someplace really hot” on occasion simply because of my beliefs alone that racism and prejudice have no place in my life.  It clearly has a place in theirs.  I wish it didn’t, but that’s what we unfortunately have.  I embrace those who don’t look like me, who have their religions specific to themselves and their beliefs and who LOVE whom they love regardless of their  sexual orientation.  If that makes me a lesser, vile person in your eyes; it only makes me the bigger person in mine.

Many people won’t see this post as I’ve permanently deleted them from not only my social media, but also my life and there are more deletions coming.

This has been the most important cleansing to date and it has been immensely satisfying.  Try it.

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Dream Message

I was driving down a road towards weather. Black, not yet completely formed tornado just ahead rising up over the crest of the hill in road.  Can see the top part of the tornado as it was rising up from the road, which was heading downhill at that point.  Black swirling clouds.  I wanted to drive towards it to SEE a fully formed tornado but did a U-turn and headed back the way I came from.

Reality:  Yesterday as I was driving West, clouds were moving in.  It looked like they could be forming thunderstorm clouds and what I depicted as rain falling in the distance,  it looked like what a tornado might look like as it was thinking about forming.  Not black like in my dream however.  Later on, a friend sent over a message that he may be listing a condo for sale that may interest me and perhaps I should look into home ownership again.

Maybe there is a message manifesting itself here, but what?  Buy?  Not buy?    At this point, given everything that is going horribly wrong for citizens in the United States, maybe I need to leave the option open to not be tied down to this country?  I’m thinking that anyway, but could that thought process be interjecting itself into my dreams and should I be taking note of this message?

The swirling clouds would testify to the uncertainty and unsettling thoughts going on at present.

Snow

Christmas season snow

Drifting gently down from high

Peaceful, chilly day

 

Dreams and Goals

While reflecting upon my life, quite a while ago, it occurred to me that I had realized all the dreams and goals that I had set forth way back when.  As far back as when I was 5 years old, right up until, well, reflection time.  It hit me all of a sudden, in a good way,  and made me smile at those dreams and goals, even though mixed up in them was a lot of unplanned and not so pleasant situations.

It also made me realize that I had  no new dreams or goals on the horizon.  At all.  I’ve felt a little lost and empty since then but recently decided I had to do something about that.  Being stagnant in life is not healthy so I set forth new goals, new dreams, even using a vision board to help “see” these and keep me focused on my “new” future.

Today, on my birthday no less (bonus!), the first step in realizing these new goals has occurred and I am off and running to my new future!

Autumn Storm

Leaves falling swiftly

Clouds morph into sun through trees

Pine-cone laden streets

Hatred

I find it interesting that this #LoserInChief has no problem deporting hundreds of thousands of upstanding young people who are contributing to society, working their way through education in order to BECOME even more useful to our society, paying taxes AND staying out of trouble.  Yet, we have MILLIONS of white supremacist Nazi’s spewing hatred of anyone without lily white skin every freakin day AND nobody thinks of getting rid of them!  I’ll take a Dreamer any day over our country full of hateful fucking Nazi’s  and I’m going to find a way to get behind this immediately.   #GoToHellTrump

 

My Longest Relationship

I was recently asked what my longest relationship has been. I’m sure they were expecting the usual response alluding to romantic relationships, my marriage or best friendship or even my relationship with myself, something pretty typical regarding relationships.  But they never expected this:

This man introduced me to what I consider life-long friends even though I see them infrequently and need to change that.

After my divorce, I needed a place to live while I searched for a place to buy and he immediately thought of his friends who are like family to him, set me up with a meeting with them after which I promptly moved in.  I’m very thankful for his help and for this very nice, selfless family taking me and my cat in to their home.

This is not a person I hang out with.  He takes care of my horse’s feet every 8 weeks, so that’s how often I see him other than catching a glimpse of him while driving around town.  However, this man has been so extremely helpful to me over the years.  If I am looking for someone to help me out with a project, he is always able to point me in the right direction due to the diversity of people he meets in his career.  When I needed help moving my hot tub after my divorce, he didn’t even think twice and rounded up a group of guys with a truck and trailer.  They came right over, dismantled it, made the long drive to my new place and delivered it.

A couple of years later, after numerous frozen pipes problems, I had finally had enough of the “single life up in ‘Canada’” routine, called him in tears and he immediately called the same family who had helped me out a few years before and they once again had room for me.   I closed up the house and moved back down to civilization again.

I am very lucky and very grateful that over the years he has stayed with me no matter where I had my horses, no matter how far away I moved them.   We always have great conversation, picking up right where we left off and I’m hoping this never changes, at least until he decides he’s had enough of my 1400 pound Clydesdale leaning on him!

How long has this relationship been?

26 years and counting!