Same Time This Year
19 Dec 2011 Leave a Comment
in Uncategorized Tags: Christmas, December, depressing, focus, New Years, parties, troubles
Every year at this time, Christmas season, it’s the same for me. I LOVE the holiday hoopla. The lights, Christmas movies and programs, songs, decorating inside and out and even the snow when we have it. It’s not Christmas without snow. But as Christmas day actually draws near, I already start with this feeling of let-down or sadness, because I know the following week leads up to New Years day and that has always been a depressing time for me. I can never put my finger on it. I think part of it is because all of a sudden all of the fun movies and lights and parties and things I so look forward to well before Christmas, suddenly stop. Everything slows down come January first which allows more time to ponder the future and quite honestly that in itself for the past few years has been quite trying, to say the least.
Part of me wishes I was younger and enjoyed New Year’s Eve parties…but being alone just isn’t the same so it’s a bit depressing for me, New Year’s Eve. I really can’t wait to get it over with and speed right through next week after Christmas and jump right into being back to work on January 2nd. I can think more clearly regarding my future when I am not in this combination holiday fun/funk. I need to keep focused. I lose focus because the season, at least for me, is such a fun, happy time and I momentarily get lost and forget the problems I have and how to fix them.
This is my horse Erin, and she is my focus and always has been. I have no idea in the grand scheme of things what we are doing or where we are going, but I really need to figure it out and here it is only December 18th and that same old deflated feeling is already starting. I guess I should be happy that for a brief few weeks, my troubles magically vanished, if even for a very short time. Maybe that’s how Christmas season is meant to be for me, and for that I am grateful.
Come on New Year! I’m ready to take you on!
